The time has come to wrap this year's open evening blog up. There's been so much that we haven't been able to fit in, and some shoddy work on the part of our reporters, who I regret to inform you will not be getting paid for their time.
Finally, as ever, I have to thank the rest of my team: Chloe and Jacob did such a great job manning the twitter account and editing the work of our reporters, and credit goes to Danielle for her work in creating the hard-copy report of the day.
Thank you for reading, and we'll see you next year.
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Matley Runs Out Of Puns
As if this evening wasn't exciting enough, and the bounds of journalism hadn't been pushed far enough to the extremes, we have this shocking piece of breaking news.
Faced with a lack of editable material, I attempted to fill the gaping journalistic hole on this blog with the one thing that I knew couldn't fail: I sent my investigators to Mr Matley to get one of his trademark sarcastic jokes. However, to my disdain, they return with nothing. The teacher of geography had nothing. Never in my life have I been faced with such disappointment. If there was one thing on which I could always rely, it was that Mr Matley would be the saving grace of our blog and grace us with his endless wit. But alas, I got nothing.
Feel sorry for me readers.
Faced with a lack of editable material, I attempted to fill the gaping journalistic hole on this blog with the one thing that I knew couldn't fail: I sent my investigators to Mr Matley to get one of his trademark sarcastic jokes. However, to my disdain, they return with nothing. The teacher of geography had nothing. Never in my life have I been faced with such disappointment. If there was one thing on which I could always rely, it was that Mr Matley would be the saving grace of our blog and grace us with his endless wit. But alas, I got nothing.
Feel sorry for me readers.
Lull
I must apologise for the lack of posts, we've had a lull in reporting. As a result, I took it upon myself to carry out some field reporting (which I'm sure you'll appreciate is as rare as a British Army officer taking to the field of battle).
After carrying out a quick tour around the school, I can discern that the open evening is indeed progressing well.
If you were hoping for anything more precise, then you seriously overestimate my capabilities.
After carrying out a quick tour around the school, I can discern that the open evening is indeed progressing well.
If you were hoping for anything more precise, then you seriously overestimate my capabilities.
Competition Update
No one has claimed the grand prize of 'a sweet or something' yet. I'll give you a clue: you already have enough information to shake a spear at.
...and if you don't get it from that, you don't deserve a sweet.
...and if you don't get it from that, you don't deserve a sweet.
Called It
As if by magic, I've just been brought the report that the "art room brings people in by food". I feel the need to point out that I predicted this in an earlier post, and also that this was in no way pre-meditated.
P.S. shame on you guys for being drawn in by food.
P.P.S. can anyone in the comments confirm that the artwork is indeed masterful?
P.S. shame on you guys for being drawn in by food.
P.P.S. can anyone in the comments confirm that the artwork is indeed masterful?
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS: "HISTORY GETS 9 VISITORS IN 2 MINUTES"
You heard it here first, folks. The history department has broken its previous record of "Number of people in the history room at one time" with an astounding 9 people. Never before in the history of history have so many people been interested in history at the same time. Mr Lawrence, head of history, has been quoted as remarking "I can't deal with all these people. I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden."
Disclaimer: The previous quote may have, and duly has, been falsified.
You heard it here first, folks. The history department has broken its previous record of "Number of people in the history room at one time" with an astounding 9 people. Never before in the history of history have so many people been interested in history at the same time. Mr Lawrence, head of history, has been quoted as remarking "I can't deal with all these people. I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden."
Disclaimer: The previous quote may have, and duly has, been falsified.
Break
I'm taking a break from my regular completely serious investigative journalism to bring you a segment that I'm deciding to call "what I've been given on slips of paper from my reporters, verbatim". The following is a list of bullet points that I've been given from the reporters, as written:
- The jelly baby sings in IT2
- The extra-curricular opportunities open up many opportunities
- Why is there no glasses in Mr Litchfield's glasses?
- Chemistry makes flames colourful.
God Has Given You One Face
From the looks of our investigators' reports, we're actually quite a good looking school:
"Mr Perrault looks good with geeky glasses."
"The history department has the best looking teachers in the school."
"Mr Bryars told me I look like Eric Sykes."
Ok, I've just realised that that last one may not have been a compliment...
"Mr Perrault looks good with geeky glasses."
"The history department has the best looking teachers in the school."
"Mr Bryars told me I look like Eric Sykes."
Ok, I've just realised that that last one may not have been a compliment...
Competition
As many of you may have realised, the last two blog post titles share a theme. If any prospective students (with no help from their parents I must add) can come to the English department and tell me the theme, they get a sweet or something...
If Music Be The Food Of Love
"Without music, life would be a mistake" as Nietzsche once remarked.
Without music at this school, I would have a different 4th A Level, and wouldn't that be a shame? If you stop by the music department this evening, you can hear some music... well what else were you expecting?
Our reporter coerced this jewel of a quote out of our Director of Music, Mr Vause: "The best thing about music is the amount of potential." And that's certainly true, unless you want to maybe get a job at some point in the future.
But I'm being cynical of course; music is very important here at QM. And with a new initiative from Mr Vause, all of our year 7s and 8s have their very own instruments to play. As we here in the media department prepare for our final year as QM students, a new generation of musicians is coming up.
Without music at this school, I would have a different 4th A Level, and wouldn't that be a shame? If you stop by the music department this evening, you can hear some music... well what else were you expecting?
Our reporter coerced this jewel of a quote out of our Director of Music, Mr Vause: "The best thing about music is the amount of potential." And that's certainly true, unless you want to maybe get a job at some point in the future.
But I'm being cynical of course; music is very important here at QM. And with a new initiative from Mr Vause, all of our year 7s and 8s have their very own instruments to play. As we here in the media department prepare for our final year as QM students, a new generation of musicians is coming up.
Once More Unto The Breach
Our first report comes from the art corridor. In the art room, we have displayed some of our sixth formers' wonderful artwork (not pictured so you'll have to take my word for it). They also have some food, so if that isn't reason enough to visit, I don't know what is. In there, you can meet Yasmin and Rachel, 2 members of AS who hope to do architecture and illustration respectively.
The DT department is currently inhabited by Ajay of year 7, Bilal and Hassan of year 8 and David and Luke of year 10. They're making plaques with names on, so if you're into that kind of thing, give the DT department a look in.
Finally, CCF. The two highest RAF cadets, CWO Palmer and FlSgt Hyde, are in there to offer their expertise on all things military (unless it's not about flying, in which case you'd better ask an army cadet).
The DT department is currently inhabited by Ajay of year 7, Bilal and Hassan of year 8 and David and Luke of year 10. They're making plaques with names on, so if you're into that kind of thing, give the DT department a look in.
Finally, CCF. The two highest RAF cadets, CWO Palmer and FlSgt Hyde, are in there to offer their expertise on all things military (unless it's not about flying, in which case you'd better ask an army cadet).
IT RETURNS
Welcome once again to the QMGS (un)official open day blog. The evening has just begun and I'm back, along with Messrs Cresswell and Harding, who return from last year's blog, but wished to remain nameless last time so that they weren't held responsible for the bad jokes.
Remember to come back as the evening progresses for updates on various departments of the school, and also for more succinct updates with less awful punnery, follow our (un)official twitter account: @QMGSEnglish
Remember to come back as the evening progresses for updates on various departments of the school, and also for more succinct updates with less awful punnery, follow our (un)official twitter account: @QMGSEnglish
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Goodbye
We've reached the official end to the evening. 9:00.
We've had fun. You've had fun. Our censoring team has had a nightmare. It's been a great night, with plenty of information passed on to the new generation of students.
This is the media team, signing off...
We've had fun. You've had fun. Our censoring team has had a nightmare. It's been a great night, with plenty of information passed on to the new generation of students.
This is the media team, signing off...
Economics
Our much-anticipated report on the economics department has finally arrived!
I'll give you a few seconds to contain your excitement.
Ready? I'll continue. Despite being tucked away above the library, the department is anything but removed and introverted. Today, they offered the year 5s a chance at guessing logos of famous companies, which Mr Swain couldn't resist but take part in.
I'll give you a few seconds to contain your excitement.
Ready? I'll continue. Despite being tucked away above the library, the department is anything but removed and introverted. Today, they offered the year 5s a chance at guessing logos of famous companies, which Mr Swain couldn't resist but take part in.
Forgotten Talents
Here's a post for our departments that haven't had as much of a mention yet.
CCF was inspirational in getting potential year 7s to want to shoot some stuff and fly around in winged stuff. It also provided a link to introducing other opportunities such as Farchynys (our Welsh centre) and other trips. Special mention must go to CSgt King, whose red face contrasted gladly with the green uniform.
The English department (from which we bring you this wholly entertaining blog) offers the potential year 7s an educational insight into popular literature and the journalistic process (brought to you with modesty on our part).
The Geography department was made visit-worthy by a challenge devised by Mr Matley, with a prize offered for initiative (as if the joy of winning wasn't enough).
Further reports on Economics and Art to come.
CCF was inspirational in getting potential year 7s to want to shoot some stuff and fly around in winged stuff. It also provided a link to introducing other opportunities such as Farchynys (our Welsh centre) and other trips. Special mention must go to CSgt King, whose red face contrasted gladly with the green uniform.
The English department (from which we bring you this wholly entertaining blog) offers the potential year 7s an educational insight into popular literature and the journalistic process (brought to you with modesty on our part).
The Geography department was made visit-worthy by a challenge devised by Mr Matley, with a prize offered for initiative (as if the joy of winning wasn't enough).
Further reports on Economics and Art to come.
Languages
We have an update from the much neglected languages department.
As if cultural stereotypes weren't already inevitable in a post about the languages department, our reporters have managed to snap a photo of our native French languages teacher Mr Perrault in front of his national flag, a place that is often frequented by Frenchmen, it appears. The language department is a much appreciated necessity here at QM, as a school that used to have Language College status; all the way over there at the opposite side of the Quadrangle, with half of the department recently closed to make way for more Geography rooms. Much appreciated.
Food Tech
A relatively new addition to the QM family is Food Technology, headed up by Mrs Phillips.
Today's open evening offers Mrs P the opportunity to show off her knowledge of various culinary implements and gives the year 5s the rare chance to taste Mrs Phillips' baked goodies.
Music
Music is as much a well-established staple of school life as any other department here at QMGS.
It seems a new generation of QM musicians are continuing the tradition, with Francis McKenna (above) showing his skill on an instrument that would definitely not have been seen in 1554, let alone wanted to be heard echoing through the corridors in 2013. Francis, along with Nick Green (both of year 7), is in MU2, part of the rapidly expanding empire that is the music department here at QMGS, under the auspices of the new Head of Music, Mr Vause.
In MU1 (the original, and still the best; and the coldest), the potential students and their parents watch a clip of the Speech Day songs.
In MU1 (the original, and still the best; and the coldest), the potential students and their parents watch a clip of the Speech Day songs.
The Headmaster's Speech
The Head's speech is a hit, as it often is, with the hall more than full to capacity; overflowing with people anxious to bear witness to Mr Swain's words of wisdom. This reporter can only assume that his lyrical speaking voice and erudite insight kept the audience wanting more.
High Attendance This Year!
Initial feedback suggests we have a high turnout for this year's open evening! The RS department's Mrs. Martin says: "We've been busier than ever before. Nearly all the Indian Sweets have been eaten, and it's not even half time!"
Further Updates
...And no sooner had I finished typing that when a report arrived on my desk detailing some of Mr. Ridler's not-so-subtle bragging. "The physics room has the best teachers, best experiments and the most people, as usual," he said, showing his characteristic gravitas and modesty.
Meanwhile, in biology the student volunteers are showing off their bones and muscles to the eager parents, and the crime scene attraction is as popular as ever. History has also been successful so far, where a group of students are showing potential new Year 7 pupils how exciting learning about the past can be.
Meanwhile, in biology the student volunteers are showing off their bones and muscles to the eager parents, and the crime scene attraction is as popular as ever. History has also been successful so far, where a group of students are showing potential new Year 7 pupils how exciting learning about the past can be.
Science Update
Hijinks are going on in the science departments! According to our young reporters, the Chemistry Department is alive with chatter and "mad experiments" are taking place at Physics. A friendly game of tag even erupted between teachers, but not for long- physics is traditionally one of the busiest places in school on open evening!
The first people have arrived!
Things are hotting up a bit here in the English Department. Since 6PM, we've been absolutely flooded with parents and primary school pupils excited to see what the school has to offer.
Initial reactions have been positive. The Art Department has been a particular favourite, but the effort in all parts of the school have been running smoothly, according to our guerilla journalists from the lower years. We'd like to remind everyone that they're not to be exploited however, with Mr. Hughes abusing his privileges as a teacher in order to get our team to make him coffee.
Mr. Fadden appears to be enjoying himself (above).
Initial reactions have been positive. The Art Department has been a particular favourite, but the effort in all parts of the school have been running smoothly, according to our guerilla journalists from the lower years. We'd like to remind everyone that they're not to be exploited however, with Mr. Hughes abusing his privileges as a teacher in order to get our team to make him coffee.
Mr. Fadden appears to be enjoying himself (above).
IT BEGINS
Welcome to the official QMGS open evening blog! A night of wonder and amazement awaits as we follow the event live. Jacob Harding and Liam Allen will be here manning the blog all evening, along with Chloe Cresswell running our official twitter account- for a more digestible take on the evening's proceedings, follow her at @QMGSEnglish. We'll be catching the best of the proceedings from our team of junior reporters, so don't go anywhere!
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