The time has come to wrap this year's open evening blog up. There's been so much that we haven't been able to fit in, and some shoddy work on the part of our reporters, who I regret to inform you will not be getting paid for their time.
Finally, as ever, I have to thank the rest of my team: Chloe and Jacob did such a great job manning the twitter account and editing the work of our reporters, and credit goes to Danielle for her work in creating the hard-copy report of the day.
Thank you for reading, and we'll see you next year.
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Matley Runs Out Of Puns
As if this evening wasn't exciting enough, and the bounds of journalism hadn't been pushed far enough to the extremes, we have this shocking piece of breaking news.
Faced with a lack of editable material, I attempted to fill the gaping journalistic hole on this blog with the one thing that I knew couldn't fail: I sent my investigators to Mr Matley to get one of his trademark sarcastic jokes. However, to my disdain, they return with nothing. The teacher of geography had nothing. Never in my life have I been faced with such disappointment. If there was one thing on which I could always rely, it was that Mr Matley would be the saving grace of our blog and grace us with his endless wit. But alas, I got nothing.
Feel sorry for me readers.
Faced with a lack of editable material, I attempted to fill the gaping journalistic hole on this blog with the one thing that I knew couldn't fail: I sent my investigators to Mr Matley to get one of his trademark sarcastic jokes. However, to my disdain, they return with nothing. The teacher of geography had nothing. Never in my life have I been faced with such disappointment. If there was one thing on which I could always rely, it was that Mr Matley would be the saving grace of our blog and grace us with his endless wit. But alas, I got nothing.
Feel sorry for me readers.
Lull
I must apologise for the lack of posts, we've had a lull in reporting. As a result, I took it upon myself to carry out some field reporting (which I'm sure you'll appreciate is as rare as a British Army officer taking to the field of battle).
After carrying out a quick tour around the school, I can discern that the open evening is indeed progressing well.
If you were hoping for anything more precise, then you seriously overestimate my capabilities.
After carrying out a quick tour around the school, I can discern that the open evening is indeed progressing well.
If you were hoping for anything more precise, then you seriously overestimate my capabilities.
Competition Update
No one has claimed the grand prize of 'a sweet or something' yet. I'll give you a clue: you already have enough information to shake a spear at.
...and if you don't get it from that, you don't deserve a sweet.
...and if you don't get it from that, you don't deserve a sweet.
Called It
As if by magic, I've just been brought the report that the "art room brings people in by food". I feel the need to point out that I predicted this in an earlier post, and also that this was in no way pre-meditated.
P.S. shame on you guys for being drawn in by food.
P.P.S. can anyone in the comments confirm that the artwork is indeed masterful?
P.S. shame on you guys for being drawn in by food.
P.P.S. can anyone in the comments confirm that the artwork is indeed masterful?
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS: "HISTORY GETS 9 VISITORS IN 2 MINUTES"
You heard it here first, folks. The history department has broken its previous record of "Number of people in the history room at one time" with an astounding 9 people. Never before in the history of history have so many people been interested in history at the same time. Mr Lawrence, head of history, has been quoted as remarking "I can't deal with all these people. I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden."
Disclaimer: The previous quote may have, and duly has, been falsified.
You heard it here first, folks. The history department has broken its previous record of "Number of people in the history room at one time" with an astounding 9 people. Never before in the history of history have so many people been interested in history at the same time. Mr Lawrence, head of history, has been quoted as remarking "I can't deal with all these people. I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden."
Disclaimer: The previous quote may have, and duly has, been falsified.
Break
I'm taking a break from my regular completely serious investigative journalism to bring you a segment that I'm deciding to call "what I've been given on slips of paper from my reporters, verbatim". The following is a list of bullet points that I've been given from the reporters, as written:
- The jelly baby sings in IT2
- The extra-curricular opportunities open up many opportunities
- Why is there no glasses in Mr Litchfield's glasses?
- Chemistry makes flames colourful.
God Has Given You One Face
From the looks of our investigators' reports, we're actually quite a good looking school:
"Mr Perrault looks good with geeky glasses."
"The history department has the best looking teachers in the school."
"Mr Bryars told me I look like Eric Sykes."
Ok, I've just realised that that last one may not have been a compliment...
"Mr Perrault looks good with geeky glasses."
"The history department has the best looking teachers in the school."
"Mr Bryars told me I look like Eric Sykes."
Ok, I've just realised that that last one may not have been a compliment...
Competition
As many of you may have realised, the last two blog post titles share a theme. If any prospective students (with no help from their parents I must add) can come to the English department and tell me the theme, they get a sweet or something...
If Music Be The Food Of Love
"Without music, life would be a mistake" as Nietzsche once remarked.
Without music at this school, I would have a different 4th A Level, and wouldn't that be a shame? If you stop by the music department this evening, you can hear some music... well what else were you expecting?
Our reporter coerced this jewel of a quote out of our Director of Music, Mr Vause: "The best thing about music is the amount of potential." And that's certainly true, unless you want to maybe get a job at some point in the future.
But I'm being cynical of course; music is very important here at QM. And with a new initiative from Mr Vause, all of our year 7s and 8s have their very own instruments to play. As we here in the media department prepare for our final year as QM students, a new generation of musicians is coming up.
Without music at this school, I would have a different 4th A Level, and wouldn't that be a shame? If you stop by the music department this evening, you can hear some music... well what else were you expecting?
Our reporter coerced this jewel of a quote out of our Director of Music, Mr Vause: "The best thing about music is the amount of potential." And that's certainly true, unless you want to maybe get a job at some point in the future.
But I'm being cynical of course; music is very important here at QM. And with a new initiative from Mr Vause, all of our year 7s and 8s have their very own instruments to play. As we here in the media department prepare for our final year as QM students, a new generation of musicians is coming up.
Once More Unto The Breach
Our first report comes from the art corridor. In the art room, we have displayed some of our sixth formers' wonderful artwork (not pictured so you'll have to take my word for it). They also have some food, so if that isn't reason enough to visit, I don't know what is. In there, you can meet Yasmin and Rachel, 2 members of AS who hope to do architecture and illustration respectively.
The DT department is currently inhabited by Ajay of year 7, Bilal and Hassan of year 8 and David and Luke of year 10. They're making plaques with names on, so if you're into that kind of thing, give the DT department a look in.
Finally, CCF. The two highest RAF cadets, CWO Palmer and FlSgt Hyde, are in there to offer their expertise on all things military (unless it's not about flying, in which case you'd better ask an army cadet).
The DT department is currently inhabited by Ajay of year 7, Bilal and Hassan of year 8 and David and Luke of year 10. They're making plaques with names on, so if you're into that kind of thing, give the DT department a look in.
Finally, CCF. The two highest RAF cadets, CWO Palmer and FlSgt Hyde, are in there to offer their expertise on all things military (unless it's not about flying, in which case you'd better ask an army cadet).
IT RETURNS
Welcome once again to the QMGS (un)official open day blog. The evening has just begun and I'm back, along with Messrs Cresswell and Harding, who return from last year's blog, but wished to remain nameless last time so that they weren't held responsible for the bad jokes.
Remember to come back as the evening progresses for updates on various departments of the school, and also for more succinct updates with less awful punnery, follow our (un)official twitter account: @QMGSEnglish
Remember to come back as the evening progresses for updates on various departments of the school, and also for more succinct updates with less awful punnery, follow our (un)official twitter account: @QMGSEnglish
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